When we come out into the world from the cocoon of our birth, I believe we have inherently inside of us the desire for community, connection and support. These three things need to work together in synchronicity to help us become whole, well-balanced members of our society. There's a catch though with these three things they have additional attributes that need deciphering.
Community - In our desire for community, this community must be Inclusive. It cannot be a community that judges, criticizes and holds us to a standard that is unreasonable or unattainable. The idea of labels need not apply in a community that is inclusive. We need to be able to show up, be present, be seen, be heard and grow from the inclusive community. In order for this to happen we need to have the next attribute.
Connection - If we are showing up in an inclusive community, we need to be Authentic. The need to be our authentic selves is paramount to our own self realization as well as the communities awareness and growth. We need to have authentic connection, to be free from retribution of our differences and reframe those difference as unique individual qualities. We don't seem to question a field of wild flowers we see them as an integrated whole, just hanging around together in their amazing individual beauty.
When there is community with inclusivity and connection that is authentic then it's possible to have the last and most important attribute. Support. Support that is unconditional. Support that doesn't ask what's in it for me but says, I stand here with you, without trying to manage or fix you, and support you through your triumphs and joys as well as sorrows and struggles.
These ideas are not new, everybody talks about them, the collective consciousness affirms their importance. It's our responsibility though to take action steps towards these, lip service and staying up in our heads about these ideas does not make them manifest. We need to put action behind our communities that are not inclusive. We need to use our curiosity to examine what we personally are doing or not doing to create inclusivity. We need to question everything. We need to question our own perceptions and judgements and find the source of them. Are they actually our personal truths or are they the thoughts and ideas of our families, schools, churches, etc.
We must find our authentic voices, our unique fingerprint that was gifted to our one precious life from the Divine Source. To create connection that is authentic with others, we must sit in the uncomfortable spaces, we need to pause and stop moving for one moment. We need to come back to our senses, and that means actually feeling sensation. We need to actually stop talking about body, mind and spirit and actually take the action that is needed to feel our body, engage our spirit, quiet our mind.
Here's the thing though, having an inclusive community, that creates connection with authenticity can only be sustained with unconditional support. This support must come from a place of compassion not of pity. This support can't have a rule around it that says, if I do this for you then you do this for me. Support can't say if you loved me you would do this or that, that's not support that's manipulation, that's acting out of ego not heart. We must be willing to support each other without always having to interject our own personal should's on each other. What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another.
We've been so entrained to think we can fix everything for everyone. This is not true, never has been. You can fix someone a sandwich, you can fix someone's tire, but when it comes to the emotional well being of someone you can't fix that. We need to be brave enough to allow the other to find their way, to stumble and fall and be there to support with encouragement at times, silence when needed and our open hearts so they can feel seen and heard. It's not our job to fully understand another persons struggles, its our compassion in action that invites us to stand with them without pushing them along in the way we push ourselves.
Creating a community that is inclusive, with connection that is authentic, with support that is unconditional takes bravery and courage. It's not about strength or power. We must be brave enough to look at our selves, to be curious why others agitate or active us. It takes courage to say, maybe it's not them, maybe that person is reflecting something in myself that needs attending. In order to have wholeness in our own lives we need to embrace our bravery and courage and soften the edges around being so strong and so powerful. Strong and powerful can create exclusivity instead of inclusivity. Being strong and powerful can call our egos into play where our self is more important than the others. Bravery and courage can be inclusive, these attributes invite an us-ness and we-ness instead of an I-ness. Bravery and courage say, I can be with another without having to fix them. Ego and Power say I think I can fix you because I know better.
When we use curiosity and awareness, bravery and courage to create our communities and connections with unconditional support we are on to something. We are on our way to creating wholeness in our lives and the lives of others that share the planet with us.
May we be the brave and courageous souls that can be the change.
Peace ~ Ann